sparking neurons

happy birthday

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 05:19:11 GMT

so i'm at work and..

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 16:03:37 GMT

So I'm doing what I sometimes do to pass time, I'm downloading music...or well at this point, looking for music. And I am finding some things interesting, not about music itself...well not directly, but about what I'm reading. While looking through my usual 'sources' I have an amazon window open to look things up and hear samples. Yesterday I found this great band Idiot Pilot, so now I'm spinning of whatever links amazon leads me to from them and hoping something catches my ears.

Just now I have come across My Chemical Romance and The Used, I've heard of these bands but I haven't necceserally 'heard' these bands. There is a reason for that, well probably reasons. I don't like following the crowd musically, but I mean that in time sensitive manner. Usually, I pick up on music way after it's been raped by tv, radio, and crazed gradeschoolers. That way I have a refreshing and unbiased sense of mind when I introduce myself to it. An exception to that is if a friend really recommends a band or if on a rare occasion the music I hear is absolutely amazing and I must have it. So anyway I went off on a slight tangent. New pagaraph, origional point.

I come across MCR and The Used and of course I listen to some samples and read amazon reviews. Now I never read 4/5 and 5/5 reviews...why should I? I always read the shitty <4 star reviews...because I want to see why people passionately hate something so badly. You may say bad rating doesn't mean hating with a passion, maybe something really is bad....no, if you've ever read comments...you'll know no one ever brings up constructive arguments about why so and so band or album 'sucks balls'. So, among all the amazing awesome comments I find enough 'playa haters' in the crowd. I will now hate the hate comments.

2/5 Stars - Mind You, This Is 2 Stars For Helena, Not The Album, June 19, 2005
Reviewer: A Music Fan "manpmn87" (Eden Prairie, Minnesota United States)

Ok, I have to tell you, I have only heard one song by My Chemical Romance. As you probably have deciphered from the title of this review, that particular song happened to be "Helena." I heard this song by seeing the video off of MTV. Personally, I found it a bit obnoxious. The lead singer of the band, Gerard Way (who I think looks a hell of a lot like The Smashing Pumpkins Billy Corgan) looks as though he is about to break into tears throughout the majority of the video. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not slandering this band, saying that they "suck" and trying to persuade you not to buy "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge." Here is what I recommend; Listen to some samples off of Amazon right now! If you like the music, then I say you should pick up a copy of the new album. If you do not care for My Chemical Romance, like I do, you should not purchase a copy. Remember, I have only heard 1/13 of the album. This is certaintly not enough to judge and I know that I could not do any better myself. Why don't you give MCR a try? Give 'Em Hell, Kid!

Why the fuck did he even write a god damn review? For all that is logical....WHY OH WHY??!?!?!?
Ok so he didn't like that one song too much. Lets break it all down.
* He saw video on MTV
*-- He makes an opinion on what he thinks about the look of the lead singer, mood of the video
*-- He doesn't judge the music on any level yet he rates it 2/5
*-- He is an idiot

Next...

1/5 Stars - Lets have posers for fans!, June 13, 2005
Reviewer: Burn Before I Wake Up "Blue 42" (Wisconsin)
Yeah, these guys are terrible. You call this music? It's called Make-Up, cause that's all they focus on. Now, please don't cry if you're reading this, because every word is true. I think the biggest reason MCR ever got so much fame was because they went on the Taste of Chaos with The Used, who are now terrible as well. This year is a sad and good year for emo, considering MCR might be releasing another album ( I don't remember when they released their other album ). This is just junk, go listen to real music, and if you want to see people look good in make-up, go look at women.

Ok well, I don't even know what the band looks like...just pointing that out. But this guy has some sort of homosexual insecurities cus he's really lashing out on makeup. I guess he's never listened to any 80's hair metal...which automatically means he should be executed. MCR are terrible? Why? It's called music? Yes! I'm not crying cus you're an idiot. Emo? What's emo? Poser? Everyone's a poser you idiot. Expression is about making connections, relating, feeling things, being emotional, etc... Oh wait you're a teenager, you think that you're the most special and unique person on the planet. Why don'y you start your own band you fucktard.

Go listen to real music? Any examples you want to give me? That's why I'm reading your review you fucking idiot. Show me this 'better' music lol. Wtf does better mean? If you don't like makeup, that's cool...wtf does that have to do with anything? What if I don't like underwear...does that mean they suck cus they wear underwear? Idiot.

Next...

1/5 Stars - disgrace 2 rock and all music in genaral, June 11, 2005
Reviewer: K. Rowland (Atlanta, Georgia USA)

first of all i would like 2 say this is the worst disgrace 2 rock ever, this band is going 2 b responsible for rocks death rock is very quickly falling 2 "emo" which is awful. and this band is one of the key problems. no musical talent no talent at all this is the worst guitar playing i have heard in my life my little cousin could do this. the whole band is just flat out awful what ever happened 2 distorted guitar and wah wah effects?!?!?if u even remotly play ne instrament do not listen to this brain wash it is terrible. please check out these REAL bands. Nirvana,mudhoney,screaming trees,black flag,minor threat,jimi hendrix,black sabbath,blue cheer,melvins,soundgarden,alice in chains, alice cooper, dinosaur jr, sonic youth, the stooges, mc5, and much more like this please steer clear of this mcr musical damage

First of all I would like to point out how incapable I am of typing legibly in a publicly reviewed forum where people want to take others' opinions seriously. Lets break this down.
* Worst disgrace to rock ever? You must be like two months old to think this is the worst disgrace, if one at all.
* Responcible for rock's death? Hahahaha idiot, go watch mtv.
* No musical talent? Why they don't play up to your standards? Maybe you don't appreciate the beauty in simplicity, or maybe you simply don't have the capacity to enjoy it. That's ok, but construct your argument properly you retard.
* Emo is awful? Whatever emo is, thats fine if it's awful. Don't listen to it you dork.
* Worst guitar playing? Maybe, but it works for them...and there are people who enjoy it. Telling me Nirvana plays better? 90% of rock today is power chords baby...the music is not 100% in technique, but also in creativity, composition and presentation.
* Distorted guitars and wah's? They are still here, you're just deaf because your brain isn't capable of discerning sounds. That's cool though, everyone has to start somewhere. Go listen to the beatles and some hendrix. Then try to play it. Then shut the fuck up.
* Real bands? Hahahaha ok lets see...
*-- Nirvana = catalyst, revolution, machine of change, inspiration, media hyped. Nirvana != genius, special, holy, better than everyone. They are great yeah, but they are not the center of the musical universe.
*-- mudhoney, haven't heard of them
*-- screaming trees, haven't heard
*-- shit i haven't heard of many of these...oh my, i'm uncultured...lets stick to ones i know
*-- hendrix - ya he's awesome, but grow up...everyone else did that were influenced by him.
*-- black sabbath - haha sorry ozzy is way to fucking old school, and his music can be played by unborn children. wtf is your point you brainless shit?
*-- soundgarden? alright...don't care for them too much, great that you like em though.. have fun
*-- i'm tired of this list

Atleast you listed examples of bands that YOU LIKE though you haven't presented WHY they are BETTER IN ALL WAYS than MCR...but that's ok, you're still in school....not that it will help you

Ok, so after these MCR comments I followed a link to The Used...lets check this out.

1/5 Stars - Someone shoot me or this band, June 11, 2005
Reviewer: K. Rowland (Atlanta, Georgia USA)

this band is killing rock and roll with the likes of mcr and emo music somehow getting into the mainstream. how this happened still puzzles me these musicians cant play at all, the whole band is awful this is the worst guitarist ever, and then they jump around like thier bad ass. i cant decide which band i hate more this band or mcr but steer clear of this rock and roll blasphemy!!!!!this music is so bad i would give it less than a one if i could!!!please check out these REAL bands. Nirvana,mudhoney,screaming trees,black flag,minor threat,jimi hendrix,black sabbath,blue cheer,melvins,soundgarden,alice in chains, alice cooper, dinosaur jr, sonic youth, the stooges, mc5, the doors, stp, metallica, firjid pink, hole, babes in toyland, tad, ALL THESE BANDS ARE EXAMPLES OF BANDS THAT ARE NOT TOTAL SELLOUTS AND THAT ARE IN IT FOR THE MUSIC and much more like this please steer clear of this mcr musical damage, AND SOMEONE PLEASE DIG UP KURT COBAIN WILL YOU WE NEED HIM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!

Haha I love how whenever someone doesn't like a band, they say it's killing something that they know or understand nothing about...in this case 'rock and roll'. Somehow getting in to the mainstream? It's because mainstream = teenagers, and teenagers = predictable, easy to satisfy... point = teenagers sell. Doesn't mean it's bad music though, you're looking at all this completely wrong...retard. They can't play? Guess they aren't playing...stuff is just magically happening, mmm g minor, a flat, b major, e pentatonic scale, c harmonic, hmm sounds like music to me...go fuck a goat. Oh wait it's the same guy that I just talked about before!!! What a surprise. Go fuck a goat...wait I already said that...um....go fuck a goat.

Next...

2/5 Stars - "Oh, my gawd, lyke.. ", June 7, 2005
Reviewer: Burn Before I Wake Up "Blue 42" (Wisconsin)
First off.. I just have to say.. this album is one of the worst follow-ups ever. This does NOT sound like The Used at all! This is some silly-faggot pop-emo-prep crap. I expected The Used to stay strong, and make a good follow-up. It's a good thing I didn't buy this album like I planned on. This isn't even half as good as their old album. First, A Static Lullaby goes bad.. Now it's the Used.. next it'll be Dead Poetic.. and then the world will end. The only good song on this album is "Take it Away" along with another song, I don't remember the name.. P-a-t-h-e-t-i-c w-a-s-t-e o-f m-o-n-e-y and t-i-m-e . Period.

Hah you know what this means, it means that The Used may actually be a good band. Because they are willing to evolve, try new things, take risks, instead of sell out and conform to a money formula...looks like you've got your mind all twisted buddy. Silly faggot pop emo prep crap? Haha thats cool, don't listen to it. But alot of people like it. Just like alot of people like that freak michale jackson, I couldn't give a crap about him and I don't...cus I have plenty of other things to occupy and interest my mind. Aww the world will end because you only liked three bands and now they are disappointing you. Looser, get a life.

You are a pathetic waste of money and time, I should let your parents know.

Next...

3/5 - My first taste of The Used, June 7, 2005
Reviewer: Petar Vodogaz "Commissioner" (Sydney, NSW Australia)

The first time I heard about this band was through listening to their song 'All That I've Got'. Having listened and liked that song I decided to purchase the entire CD. First off this band shows alot of potential however like several other bands out in the alternative rock genre they sound too much alike other groups. What makes or break a band is their individualism and through their own sound and gimmick do they attain a identity that people know them by. Secondly though, it was an enjoyable CD all the same.
From what I hear this is The Used' second album and for me to fully appreciate their sound I will get the first album. Another good song on this release is 'Take It Away' and 'Yesterday's Feelings'. This band is young and through career experience they should be able to adopt their own sound and stick with it and gain a strong identity say like Staind or U2 has.

Thats what a comment should be like. Opinionated, structured...somewhat, and thoughtful...not chaotically bashfull and lame.

In conclusion, I only heard a couple of 30 second clips from both bands. I am in no way in love with them or can't even say for sure that I particularly like them...but I will give them a go and listen. See if they will grow on me. Will try to maybe play some of their stuff. Will thoughrully break down everything I hear, will think through the lyrics. But most of all, I'm going to try and enjoy music. Because that's what music is about, enjoyment. This isn't a government, a religion, a belief, or a system of any sort of kind. It's art. A form of expression. It has no requirements, no standards, it's about freedom.

It's ok though, you're all just kids. Being rebellious, disliking things, getting passionate, loosing your mind, being stupid, careless, and just plain dumb...that's what it's all about. Just stay off the internet, for god's sake, or atleast learn to communicate...just a teeny weeny bit better. Or I will kill you all. I can do it. Ask anyone. Really.

As a side not, for anyone who doesn't support 'downloading' of music. Kiss my ass. If I really love something, I will contribute towards it. If it wasn't for this freedom of distribution and aquisition, I wouldn't have spent 99% of the money that I have on cd's that I currently own. And I would've had a god awful taste in music probably too...thanks to mtv. So blow me you fuckers. I'm gonna download some MCR and The Used now.

Peace bitches.

p.s. i pwned your friends view and no i will not lj-cut it

sigh

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:30:48 GMT

guess i'm cuttin the hair soon

daaaaaammmm yooooouuuuuuuuu lol

i'm such a sucker :P

kayteeeee

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:53:33 GMT

aye miff joo

we'll be home the same time on monday....i should prepare some kinda surprise or something...wait.....shhhhhhhh

oh ya

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:10:26 GMT

batman was absolutely amazing.

wow

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:09:54 GMT

I just had the most fucked up dream ever. It was about julie et al. I really shouldn't describe it in detail...because the imagery was pretty twisted, not that it was bad...but neither was it good really. I am trying really hard to interpret what it means to me. I remember seeing her brother, hah he wasn't skinny and dorky anymore...he buffed up a bit and had a crew cut and looked really good. Somehow the character of Julie was very manipulative and spitfull in my dream...and this is a dream, so these qualities brought up some really fucked up events. Maybe it is a reflection of my actions and feelings, or maybe sadly that's how I am coming to remember her. Whether it is completely my fault or not, the Julie as she is to me right now...atleast in my mind still, just boils up the negativity in me. If we were ever, ever, to become friends again...it would require very steady steps to therapy my way out of my current state. Yesterday a bunch of students swarmed the tac where I work, and I smelled a scent exactly like Julie's....it almost drove me insane, I honestly was ready to leave the room. Why does she have such an effect on me. Is it even her or am I just crazy? I think that smell was what made me have this dream. Yep, I'm crazy.

When I think about her now, I wonder if I made the healthiest choice...but life is not about regret I suppose. If I hate anything it's not her, it's how I felt when it was over...and that is all my fault really, or is that the best way my mind can deal with it...hmm. I hope she's happy, I hope she doesn't think about me. I hope she get's in to vet school, gets married, and lives a happy life. I hope that one day I'll get to tell her that she was the better person through all this and she forgives me.

She stopped writing in lj, her life must be going pretty well then....I have nothing to worry about then.

Anyway, it's time for this area of episodic memory to shut down for a long time.

evil: yes or no, you tell me

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 00:51:09 GMT

Ya, that's Bender on my wall. On your knees and kiss the floor bitches >_

why do i write?

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 00:35:48 GMT

i realize that there is no consistensy of expression in this journal and have pondered over why my writing habits are such. it has come to my attention that most of my writing is just a sorry excuse for lack of interaction, atleast in part. i realize that i write things that i am just not immediately able, or atleast feel that i'm not, to communicate my thoughts with someone; essentially, when there's no one around to listen....that i care for. on the other hand though writing opens my thoughts to a wider audience and also preserves the chain of thought i have chose to express.

so, at the moment...i've really got no one to talk to...hah so i've written this post :P

the law of conservation of sanity

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 16:14:34 GMT

So one of Johnny's recent posts brought out in to the open a collective of thoughts that I've had that now are just itching to be organized in to some form of writing. So here I go. Beware, for this is what I think.

What is the topic of discussion? Well nothing to be surprised about, I'm going to talk about relationships. My observations and conclusions are based solely on my personal relationships with people, and I use that word here on a broad scale that goes beyond the 'dating' spectrum and includes all my friends. Essentially, the following will be based on everything I've experienced through any sort of interaction with people that I know. I will mostly focus on myself though, as I can never truly know what really makes others happy...I can only imagine and make the best of it.

Before anything else I would like to describe the concept of relationships on a cold rational level, and this can essentially stretch in to any form of social construct. On a primitive level, all willful interaction can be thought of as selfish acts. Well maybe selfish is not the proper word, most will agree that selfish describes acts of personal gain that disregard the interests, desires, and possibly the well being of others. No I guess I shouldn't use selfish, but I will say that all social interactions are performed for some sort of personal gain. Personal gain can be physiological, psychological, or material. So on a primitive level it can be accepted that each interaction is an act of give or take that satisfies one or more of those three categories. I should probably make a few examples so here goes. Physiological exchange, well that's easy, how about a kiss? In fact a kiss is also psychological. Kissing is such a versatile act; depending on the kiss, many different things can be accomplished. For a psychological exchange lets think of the feelings of security, being needed, being important, and being wanted. All those are things that we want to feel and are things that we want to provide to one another in exchange. Humans are social beings, satisfying interactions are almost euphoric and the lack of interaction is more or less quite depressing. I don't believe I need to describe material exchanges. It is fair to point out that no interaction is usually isolated to one type, almost everything is a good mix. So I conclude that social interactions are on their primitive level simply commodity trades, the commodity is stimuli....hopefully positive stimuli.

Now I should talk about what it is that I desire myself. What have I been looking for? What makes me happy? Well, those concepts are very time sensitive, as in past versus now versus future. From then to now it has been an evolving progression, through self discovery and through accomplished goals. What I mean to say is that in fifth grade I had a crush on a girl and all I could think of then was of her acknowledging me and that she possibly liked me, and maybe giving me a little kiss. I simply could not think beyond that goal because it seemed astronomical. Today, the goal is much further away beyond the point of acknowledging interest, kissing, and well other obvious things. What is important for me to point out though is that this journey of mine, this quest for that someone, it has felt so profound for so many years. I don't know how some people experience their desires to be with someone, but I often observe them to be very shallow. I cannot relate to that, I have always felt a sinking feeling, an overwhelming desire to have someone by my side, yes even ten years ago this feeling was that overwhelming. Along the path of life, the experiences that I have managed to accomplish, have only evolved my feelings and furthered my goal. But who thinks about things like life-long courtship when they haven't hit puberty yet, it's natural for feelings to evolve as one grows. Remember what I just said, I'll repeat it once more by itself. It is natural for feelings to evolve as one grows. It is an uncontrollable factor, the only thing one can do is influence how those feelings grow. I will come back to this later.

What is love? Is it absolute, or relative? Can it be defined, explained in everyday terms, predicted, replicated, tested? Who knows really? And is there a point to even asking that? I'm not sure yet. I thought I was in love, a couple of times. Maybe I was. I like to think that I was. Because I was so extremely happy. "I was in love," somehow that is such an easy and natural way to describe how amazing it was. Unfortunately then I realize that I said "was" and that kills the whole thing for me. Love in my eyes is not an absolute glue that holds people together no matter what. Love is not something, extraordinary. I think it should not be though of as something that one can 'have' but as something that one will do anything for. In essence, those seeking love are seeking someone to love. If love itself has any manifestation, it is that of the other person. The person that makes your life everything you ever wanted it to be and more. Haha, so can one truly be in love? Yes, many times a day even....hahaha get it? Ok so that was a little joke. Alright I must switch from this abstract love paragraph in to more practical observations.

OK well, unfortunately I have to go to work, so I'll have to finish this later.

....

Hah you know, I give up writing about this. I just talked to a friend about lots of things for a good while and it's not in me to reitirate again how I feel about these things.

Maybe another day.

beach dorks

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 16:57:41 GMT

hah and here's jordan graduating to become robocop...he's got that walk down right?

omg lol, i look so much like my dad

i have returned

Tue, 31 May 2005 06:26:59 GMT

long weekend. i will try to recap as much as i can remember.

thursday i woke up at 7am and did last minute packing and left for work. my shift was 8-2 and the bus was leaving at 4.30, so i had some time to hang around after my shift ended. the day was very slow, as in work, yet very fast, as in time flew. all i did was watch aqua teen and play my guitar...hah yes at work. tim came to work and we grabbed some lunch and killed some time, afterward elias and viv picked me up and drove me to the commuter lot where the bus was getting ready to head out in a bit. the ride was pretty boring, i had an isle seat and spent most of my time dosing off either to whatever movie was playing on the shitty tv/sound system or listening to my music. i got to the pompano stop around 10 and my parents picked me up shortly. had a nice lil dinner and chatted with the folks and called it a night.

friday i woke up at 7.30am for some odd reason, having gone to sleep at about 1am. anyway, i knew katie was leaving school at noon and i wanted to go to the beach with her, so i wouldn't really leave the house until the early evening. so i hung out with mom most of the day. around 3 we headed to the beach and told katie to just meet us there, she was handling some business about my bday gift at the mall so she'd be late. the weather was pretty windy, but still nice...i missed the beach so i enjoyed myself. after about an hour katie came by but without a bathing suit because her mall errand got messed up (it's ok :P). well, that was a sign to think of something else. so we decided to just drive off and see a movie or something. she mentioned that madagascar came out and we just totally had to go see it together. drove over to our muvico, got tickets, got some nachos, watched the movie, laughed our asses off, it was great. afterward we went back to my place and layed around watching tv, the sixty inch lcd rear projection high def sony tv is awesome...hd channels are amazing. i was in heaven. katie passed out for a short nap, after which she came to and had to go home. so we farewelled and i went to bed...around 1am again.

saturday i woke up at about 6am to start getting ready to go diving with dad. all said and done by 8am we were at the dock loading our stuff, the morning was absolutely perfect. we did two dives as always. the first dive was a wreck dive, top of the wreck was about fifty feet and the sandy bottom was around seventy feet. visibility was average, but we had fun. the second dive was way better, it was a coral reef dive of around sixty feet. we all broke up in to groups with our own little flags, our group was myself, dad, and this lady that we met who didn't have a dive buddy. i love reef dives because i can 'fly' over the reefs and chase fishies...haha i'm a dork, even underwater. when we came up finally, the boat came around to a group that was not too far from us to get them, we just swam over and got on instead of waiting. there were about four more groups ready to get picked up, so me and dad enjoyed the opportunity to take all our gear off and dive off the boat while the other divers were getting back on. it was fun. by noon we were heading back to the docks. after all the unloading, recharging the air tanks, and other business, we got home sometime after 3pm. after unloading and cleaning our gear and taking showers, it was around 4 and dad suggested that we go grab grandma from her work and all go out and eat sushi....hells ya i won't pass on some sushi. i was sure katie was bored all day, that and...well i just wanted to see her, i gave her a call and made some plans. parents drove to get grandma, i stayed home and waited for katie to come by. then at a good point in time we left, timing so we'd all meet up at sushi around the same time. mmm i love sushi, i ate a load as always. my parents kept pressuring kate to eat something lol so she finally gave in and had some california rolls (:P). after the dinner we went back home and just lounged around the living room and watched tv in to the night. kate was with me when it crossed over midnight, that was cool. this time i passed out and when i woke up the tv was off and she was gone :( lol. well time for bed i guess.

sunday, another early morning...we woke up around 7 and started getting ready. around 8.30 we left...which we considered late, and headed to john loyd park. we got to the park at 9.30 and the place was being filled up by the insane collective population of south florida latino's. anyway, because i didn't realize we were going to this park till almost last minute, i didn't really explicitly mention to anyone that unless they came by 11 the latest, they wouldn't even get in. which basically happened, but more on that later. because the park was being so seriously populated, all the benches and grills were already taken. even the pavilions were reserved (and some of them weren't even fucking used the whole time we were there). also all the huge trees were being cut down for some forsaken reason, so there was no shade at all, what the fuck are they doing to that park...i dunno. we had to improvise. me and dad drove out of the park, leaving grandma, mom, and aunt with all the stuff, and went on a mission to find stuff. we stopped at a publix near by and found an unfolding table-bench thingy that was neat and also located a ten by ten foot gazebo. sweet, mission accomplished. we went back and set the gazebo and table right on the beach, practically 20 feet away from the water. now we had awesome shade, a table, and other stuff we already had functioned perfectly with this scenario. we also had our own grill, so we were ready to rock and roll. so... back to the being late thing. tim, alvin, and katie were supposed to join us. tim and alvin called at around 11.15 telling me the park got closed and the sheriff was telling everyone to go home. shit shit shit, thank you you fuckers. so, tim and alvin just went to another beach spot and agreed to just do something together later. i had to call katie and let her know that shit got fucked up. dad came up with the idea that she could park at the nearby beach that wasn't part of the park and just walk up to us...it would take around 40 minutes of casual strolling...but katie came through and did it. i ran up to meet her, and the day was salvaged. it appears that because some people couldn't make it or were out of town, the gathering didn't end up being big like i possibly planned. therefore i didn't mind not calling everyone single person i knew to try to get them to conform to our crazy plans. i was happy that at least one friend made it and joined me and my family for my time there. so, we had lots of fun, went snorkeling, ate lots of food, got nice crispy tans, the day was beautiful. at some point i heard thunder, me and kate were down the beach so we started heading back. when we got back to our spot we discovered that all our stuff was already packed away and it was a bit past 4.30 and katie's parking meter was out...what perfect timing. hopped in dad's truck and headed to get her car. parents planned on taking grandma straight back, which means the trip will be long. kate was going to drive to our house though to hang out and that wouldn't work out since she'd get there before us, so i just took dad's house key and gate card and drove home with katie. we got home, took showers, and could finally relax and the best couch that exists lol. parents got home a while afterward. helped dad take care of the gear and stuff, we had a little cake and stuff and lounged around the living room once again. tim and alvin called said they were going to dave and busters, so we joined them. dave and busters changed in the six or so years since i've last been there. restaurant, bar, pool hall, sports bar, arcade, it's sweet. i charged up a power card and ran around playing all sorts of games with katie. tim and alvin got me some bday drinks and got me all tipsy and it was sweet. we all had lots of fun. once i ran out of game chips it was just in time because the place would be closing soon. i was in a pretty amusing shape hehe so katie drove us back home. we watched some more tv till dad came down at like 2.30am and told us to go to bed. katie didn't want to sleep alone so she passed out with me.

monday morning she woke up, told me toodles and went home. i'll see her pretty soon once she moves up. it was nice sleeping in finally. we had lunch and headed to the mall where i hung out with mom and dad. in a little while i joined up there with tim and alvin split off from my folks so we could hang out. in a couple of hours we started heading back to my place to get all my stuff, stopped by at dairy queen for a little filler up before the trip. got all my stuff together at home, and was ready to leave. kissed mom and dad goodbye, everyone said their farewells, and we headed out. we had a cool trip back together, way more fun doing it that way then taking the bus back. we stopped in ocala for some all you can eat chinese too...mmmm. and i finally made it home at about 10.30pm. unpacked, fed booger, said nite to kate, and started writing this....seems like it's been a couple of hours already lol.

i had a great vacation. i'm sorry i didn't get to hang out with more people. but i could only manage so much chaos while attempting to also relax and not be too busy all this time. i missed my family and loved spending some time with them. katie also completely made my birthday for me. she gave me a h.i.m. shirt and a sweet silver bracelet with my name. (thankies ^_^). my family also collectively donated over six hundred dollars to the steve foundation. as much as i'd love to use some of it to get myself a gift, i may have to hold off because immediate life supporting spendings are higher on the priority list.

i know i made a million typos...but it's late :P

i am 21. the end.

;)

home

Thu, 26 May 2005 03:47:17 GMT

i'm coming home tomorrow! ^_^

haha duh

Wed, 25 May 2005 12:50:41 GMT

You scored as Sex God. You are a master at sex. You make your partner weak in the knees, and you know it. You've had the practice, and you've read the books, but don't get too cocky (pun intended) or you'll get put into place.

</td>

Sex God

83%

A Slave To BDSM

63%

A Romantic

60%

Virgin

35%

How are you in bed
created with QuizFarm.com

Haha like I even had to take this quiz. I don't know why being a sex god requires me to look gay like that.

I have a plan!

Thu, 19 May 2005 22:49:48 GMT

May 26th, Thursday
4.30pm - get on bus in Gainesville
~10pm - get off bus in Pampano

[ insert fun here * ]

May 29th, Sunday [**]
All Day - 21st Birthday

May 30th, Monday
5pm - get on bus in Pampano
~10pm - get off bus in Gainesville

* - random fun shall be had performing chillaxation with whoever is willing to participate.

** - birthday will be celibrated in a beach/park-esque environment more than likely including lots of food and me being near naked, everyone is welcome. oh ya booze too, i'm doing lots of drinking.

survey slut

Wed, 18 May 2005 14:10:26 GMT

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #4 Match: INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #5 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

The funny thing is that when I took an exhaustive test some time back I ended up being an INTP. But then again my personality is way too dynamic, guess this time I less machine like eh?

What's Your Personality Type?

Your Birthdate: May 29

Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature.
You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world.
You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities.

The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension.
This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer.
You do, however, work very well with people.

I noticed that the month is irrelevant in this quiz. Also it appears that the more the date deviates from my birthday, the less dominant are the qualities that are given towards my personality. For example I have alot in common with the 30th but not so much with 15th.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are 45% Normal
(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

Nice lol

How Normal Are You?

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

Hahaha...it just seems to happen, so true.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are 25 Years Old

25

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Hah, I'm 25.

What Age Do You Act?

You Will Die at Age 73

73

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...

And how you'll die as well.

Thanks....that sounds more depressing than average. Well in today's world that's 'normal' I suppose.

What Age Will You Die?

Star Wars Horoscope for Gemini

Like most Geminis, you are a playful little creature.
You tend to be extremely curious, craving knowledge but sometimes having a short attention span.
For the most part, you are charming and loveable.
But at times, you can seem scattered and high-strung.

Star wars character you are most like: Ewoks

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

Strange, lower and lower it becomes less true. Actually just the last two.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

stolen from jordan

Mon, 16 May 2005 13:46:07 GMT

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Created by naw5689 and taken 27175 times on bzoink!
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:	Depeche Mode
Are you male or female:	Master and Servant
Describe yourself:	Waiting For the Night
How do some people feel about you:	Just Can't Get Enough
How do you feel about yourself:	Painkiller
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:	Barrel of a Gun
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:	Somebody
Describe where you want to be:	World in My Eyes
Describe what you want to be:	Mercy in You
Describe how you live:	Freestate
Describe how you love:	The Bottom Line
Share a few words of wisdom	Only When I Loose Myself
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

new music

Wed, 11 May 2005 14:16:48 GMT

the new 30 seconds to mars album a beautiful lie is pretty awesome. i'll have to pick it up when it actually comes out, so shhhhh i'm not supposed to be listening to it yet.

today is

Tue, 10 May 2005 15:58:21 GMT

cleaning day

my birthday is in 19 days. i will be 21. i am not where i thought i would be at this point but i do not mean that negatively. it just appears that life is full of surprises. i am just happy to say that i have already experienced love, death, learned what it is like to really be by myself, and gotten laid more times than there are fingers on my body multiplied by how many fingers there are on my body....haha

so what now, what happens when i turn 21? not much that i can think of, except now i can enjoy a glass of wine with my dinner and get my younger friends intoxicated. i am in a financial black hole at the moment. i realise that to bus back home for 3 days to hang out and watch star wars with my friends will cost me approximately $150 because of missed work and bus fare, and i cannot simply afford that. on that same note i cannot personally affor to go home for my birthday, or really do anything exciting at all period. i stopped having birthday parties around 15 though, so nothing will be different really. i just wish i could spend the day with those close to my heart. do you realize that i'm 1/3 of the way to retirement? 1/3! that's a big fraction, i don't even have a professional job yet, haha that's an interesting observation.

as much thought i can dish out on heavy introspection, i won't. today is a beautiful day. there are things coming that i am looking forward to, that is enough to carry me through life for now.

lonely

Sun, 08 May 2005 04:03:43 GMT

night

Sat, 07 May 2005 01:30:01 GMT

I am worth $2,163,230 on HumanForSale.com

Me Leet Stats (included only those that were worth $):
Gender: Male $200,000
Age: 21 $30,000
Ethnicity: White $130,000
Height: 5'10 $2,000
Body Type: Athletic $25,000
Hair Color: Brown $5,000
Eye Color: Brown $1,000
Handed: Right $5,000
Body Hair: Somewhat Hairy $1,000
Shoe Size: 11 $5,000
Bald: No $10,000
20/20 Eyesight: Yes $5,000
Athletic Ability: Average $35,000
Attractiveness: NA $100,000
IQ: 140 $227,535
SAT Score: 1280 $49,880
HS GPA: 3.6 $34,200
Education: High School $1,000
Bilingual: Yes $10,000
Smoker: No $15,000
Pot: No $10,000
Drugs: No $10,000
Exercise: Occasionally $5,000
Comitted Felony: No $15,000
Watch Television: Occasionally $5,000
Sexuality: NA $25,000
Style: Above Average $45,000
Artistic: Above Average $45,000
Sense of Humor: Excellent $65,000
Addictive Personality: Yes ($15,000)
Multiplier x2
Total: $2,163,230

LEEEEEEEEEET

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 03:14:43 GMT

Naruto OST 3!!! Is out today! Woot >_<

Mmmm the goodness fills my ears. Haha The riff for Heavy Violence is so easy to pick up and play from ear.

Get it from your usual sources... aah fuck it just go to www.torrentspy.com and search for naruto, it has like 400 people in the swarm at the moment so I pumped it at around 200k :) Oh ya it's 200+ kb/s variable bitrate so it sounds like awesomeness.

Track breakdown:

1. [Toshiro Masuda] Beautiful Green Wild Beast (2:00)
2. [Toshiro Masuda] Sakura Season (1:42)
3. [Toshiro Masuda] Fake (2:25)
4. [Toshiro Masuda] A Crisis After Another (1:43)
5. [Toshiro Masuda] Rock Lee's Theme (2:07)
6. [Toshiro Masuda] Dance (2:21)
7. [Toshiro Masuda] Ultimate Secrets (2:06)
8. [Toshiro Masuda] I'll do it right! (0:12)
9. [Toshiro Masuda] Oh! Student and Teach Affection (3:15)
10. [Toshiro Masuda] Avenger (2:04)
11. [Toshiro Masuda] Heavy Violence (3:12)
12. [Toshiro Masuda] Sarutobi (2:43)
13. [Toshiro Masuda] Hokage (2:15)
14. [Toshiro Masuda] Grief and Sorrow (2:55)
15. [Toshiro Masuda] Jiraiya's Theme (2:43)
16. [Toshiro Masuda] Ripple (1:58)
17. [Toshiro Masuda] Swaying Necklace (1:57)
18. [Toshiro Masuda] Bunta (2:44)
19. [Toshiro Masuda] Tea Country (1:39)
20. [Toshiro Masuda] Sneaking Nightmare (1:11)
21. [Toshiro Masuda] The 5ths Fight (2:01)
22. [Toshiro Masuda] Hero (4:41)
23. [Toshiro Masuda] Those Who Inherit The Will of Fire (3:17)

new music

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 02:33:50 GMT

The new NIN album With Teeth is sweet, buy it! If you wanna sample it I can always let you listen to my radio station :P

aaaaaahhhh x_x

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 18:11:43 GMT

So today I overslept my last calc3 class, either way I'm planning on coming by and seeing the professor and asking him some questions later this week. So I have work from 10am to 3pm. No point going home though really because I can stay here and study for my Man's Food exam that's 6-7pm. Then I need to see the last show of this semester to write a make-up report on for my Music Literature class, that starts at 7.30pm and will prolly last till about 9pm.

Gah...I just want to go home and play Jade Empire, which is totally absolutely amazing by the way. The fighting system is, thank god, everything one could hope for in such an rpg. The voice acting is great, there is an incredible amount of dialog. And character development is pretty intuitive, a bit confusing at first because elements are revealed to you as you play through the begining of the game, but after a half hour or so you'll see how everything works. The game is visually stunning, rivaling Fable by a noticable margin with texture quality and shading effects, also the load times are pretty short...but I dumped it on my hard drive, hehe. The Conker demo is awesome and looks incredible. The fur shading, though somewhat primitive to a keen eye, adds a really nice touch to the characters and the motion blur and depth of field effects are great too. And of course the comedy, but that's something that has to bee seen and heard first hand.

no solid subject today

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 05:32:24 GMT

it seems i have allot of shit to take care of over the course of....well fuck, it's finals time, the semester is coming to an end, the next two weeks are going to suck balls.

in other news, i've talked to vanessa a couple of times over the past couple weeks. it's nice to see (web cam) her and talk to her again. its kind of weird because as attached as i became to her once she had allot of trouble really opening up to me. and after all this time she is this sort of mysterious, familiar, stranger. i want to know her more, but i've learned in the past that pushing her only pushed me away. maybe one day she'll consider me a close friend. at least she comes to me for a smile, that makes me feel good.

i'm alone, but i don't feel as lonely right now as i usually would at 1 in the morning. some issues i am coping with and yet strangely i'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing. maybe the stress of school at this time is overwhelming everything else, which is also a double edged sword. when it is all over, things may rush back in to me. only time will tell i suppose.

i found a bunch of good music transcribed for powertab, slowly picking stuff i feel comfortable with apart. at the moment i'm trying to work on classical pieces, instead of typical power chord rhythm stuff, to develop actual fretboard and picking skills with my fingers. one of my favorite pieces of all time is the toccata and fugue in d minor by bach. i'm not starting it from the begining, there are parts throughout it that sound really awesome that i'm trying to learn. eventually maybe i can learn the whole thing, the skill will come in speed....it's a crazy piece to pick....almost like a 5 minute solo. i'm sure i can remember the whole thing easily through mechanics, me piano teacher always did call me a robot. it's fun, and its therapy, plus guitars are just awesome.

i wish i could sing better, maybe i'll look in to some vocal exersises. i just have that annoying glitch in my range that makes me sound like i'm still in the middle of puberty, so i basically just need to smooth that yodle out. then maybe i can record something for fun, by then i'm sure i should be able to play more than a handful of covers lol.

trying to pick up my camera again, i'll just carry it no matter where i go. then i have no excuse to not take pictures of things i find interesting. i really wish i had a video camera, i loved doing little projects we fucked around with during high school with the borrowed equipment lol.

p.s. if you find my life interesting to read about then give back and write something yourself. you're all human, you all live and have thoughts and feelings, write bitches. atleast once in a while, something profound. tickle my brain.

game industry analysis/opinion/rant

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:39:31 GMT

"I could give you our technical specs, as I'd know you'd like that, but I won't for a simple reason: they really don't matter. The time when horsepower alone made all the difference is over." - Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, 2004

----------

Intro

Simply because I hate gaming forums and all the goons and fanboys that populate them I have decided to write this up. This is my two cents on how things are and possibly will be.

We are on the verge of a dominance war. The next generation of digital entertainment is coming. What are we to look forward to from the big guys at Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo in the future? The expectations are certainly great.

Right now the big flame war on the net is in regard to hardware specifications of primarily the PS3 and Xbox 360. From everything that I know and what I have read and researched, I'll summerize it for you hopefully simple unbiased terms. The Xbox 360 and PS3 will both have different architectural layouts but will be based on similar technologies. The big boom right now is of multi-core and SIMD processing.

Hardware

So what is all that junk? By multi-core we simply mean that there is no longer one central processing unit performing calculations, there are multiple ones. But it's not as simple as just having clusters of traditional cpu's such as dual Pentiums or sixteen SPARC processors, multi-core means that the chip itself is split in to multiple functioning nodes or cells, as Sony likes to call them. Once again, what the hell does all that mean?

Multi-Core

Well in a nutshell your traditional cpu (the one inside your computer right now) is kind of like just one person doing some kind of work based on whatever instructions he has. That one person has his little desk for immediate access to some kind of workspace, he has a slightly bigger stack of shelves with junk on them next to him, and he has a conveyor belt coming to and away from him that goes in to the huge factory where lots of other junk happens and gets sent to him to work on and then taken from him when he's done.

A multi-core cpu is more like a team of people, lets say there's five of them. One guy doesn't do actual work because he's the leader. What he does do though is take stuff from those conveyor belts, analyze them, and assign them to one of his team members to work on. He also gets finished stuff back from his team and sends it packing. Additionaly he is responcible for sometimes coordinating efforts between the team members, but only if the task requires it. The four team members that do actual computing work work independently of each other on their assigned tasks but share a significantly larger work desk than the lonely guy in conventional cpu's. They are also special because they are genetically enhanced humans capable of doing crazy amounts different things at the same time.

SIMD

Huh? Genetically enhanced humans? What am I reffering to? I'm talking about SIMD! So what the hell is SIMD? SIMD is an acronym that stands for Single Instruction, Multiple Data. I will borrown an example from wikipedia to explain what it does. SIMD's advantage is processing large amounts of data, like the crapload of repetitive number crunching done in real time graphics rendering.

For example, imagine that you have a picture that is 16*16 pixels, and each pixel consists of three 8 bit values for RGB color information. Lets say you want to change the brightness of that picture, in order to do that you have to add some kind of value to each set of color bits of each pixle. A traditional cpu reads each value in from memory, performs the computation (add), and writes the value back to memory, one by one. An SIMD cpu is able to read a whole set of values, perform a computation on all of them, and write them all back to memory, in one clock cycle. The size of the set of values depends on the bit scale of the cpu (32bit, 64bit, 128bit). So imagine that picture I mentioned, a 128bit SIMD cpu could work on 128bits at once which is 32bits per pixel, so we can do 4 pixels per clock cycle.

So that means it's 4 times faster? Do you remember that multi-core cpu example that had 4 guys working with one guy managing? Well how about getting 4 pixels for each guy? That means in one clock cycle we can do 4*4 pixels, or 16! Wow that's 16 times faster than a traditional cpu! Well all of this is very much nutshell theoretical jargon, but don't let that fool you. It is as good, actually better, than I made it sound like.

With multi-core SIMD cpu's hardware real time rendering is going to be amazingly fast. Vector translations/transformations are going to be done at speeds tenfolds greater than on today's common computers and consoles.

That's cool, weren't we talking about consoles and games and stuff?

Ok so where does all of this play part in PS3 vs Xbox 360? Well Microsoft is unvieling the Xbox 360 on May 12th on MTV. They are showing an actual console playing actual software all of which is hitting the market before Xmas. The specs are not set in stone as all of them are not exactly confirmed yet but we all know that the Xbox 360 is going to have several dual-core PowerPC cpu's clocked at around 3ghz, a next generation custom chipset from ATI, a good amount of top of the line RAM (256-512), and is shipping with a 40gig hard drive. Yes folks, it is practically done! But wait, Sony and Nintendo are not releasing their beasts for a whole year yet! What will they shove in to their babies? Well the only thing we know is that the Cell chips that IBM and Toshiba are designing are amazingly scalable (multiple cores, multiple chips working together, etc...). And we know that the chips are going to be architecturally more advanced than the PowerPC's in the Xbox 360 (but working on similar proncipal). What we don't know is what exact spec Cell chip is going to be on the actual PS3. But with a rumored price tag of $500 you know it's going to be something completely insane. Personally I wouldn't be surprised if the PS3 outpowered the Xbox 360 computationally by two or three-fold. The PS3 is also rumored to use the new BluRay (~40gig capacity) disc format, where as the Xbox 360 is confirmed to use dual-layer DVD (~14gig) discs. Nintendo will probably fall somewhere in between the Xbox 360 and PS3, with a price tag that will probably be much less than the PS3. By the way the projected price tag for Xbox 360 is $250-300 which includes a 40gig hard drive and is rumored to have a preinstalled enhanced version of Halo 2!

So after all that somewhat tech-jargon, what's the point? Well the big point is the quote at the begining of this writing. Satoru Iwata is right, the hardware horsepower that the next generation will bring will be amazing. Then, more than ever, the fate of that hardware will lie in the hands of their respective marketing teams and the developers writing software for them. The hardware battle is reduntant. The real war will be waged through software. And that is a whole different story.

Software

Fortunately, all that junk before this is me leading up to talk about just that; software. By now anyone reading this would probably find themselves in agreement with me that hardware is just awesome. But also I'm sure that many find themselves quite frustrated with the quality of software being released today, what I mean is that many games either suck or just blend in and don't really stand out. Yes, I'm sure you think so. In fact, if you've ever waged a flame war with anyone over your favorite console you probably didn't realize but more than likely you started fighting over which GAME is more awesome and not which CONSOLE. Ya, you know this has happened to you, it's alright to admit it. Well first I feel obligated to stand behind the game development industry and explain to you why you are so displeased with what it churns out on practically daily basis.

Unreal

To give you a big picture idea of what it takes to deliver a quality product today I want you to remember a little game called Unreal. Unreal is a first person shooter with a single player campaign and a wide range of multiplayer options. It paved way for it's multiplayer-centered follower Unreal Tournament which gained Game of the Year title and beat Quake 3 in a national survey as the superior FPS shooter. Several years later the Unreal engine evolved in to Unreal 2 and brought with it Unreal Tournament 2k3 and later the upgraded 2k4, which are held in high regard as the top online shooters. Now the Unreal 3 engine is showing itself off at Game Development Conferences and soon at E3 and it is looking absolutely amazing, with visual quality pushing Half Life 2's Source engine several years backwards. By the way Epic is an exclusive developer for Xbox in the console world, and the Unreal engine has been licenced over the years to be used in countless game titles that you probably didn't even realize used the engine.

Ya ya, so the Unreal engine is awesome, so what? Well when Unreal came out in 1998, the game was in development for 5 years. FIVE YEARS! The engine has evolved ever since to this day and it's 2005! Twelve years to achieve what the Unreal 3 engine is capable of today! Ok ok the point is made. Games take a long time to make. So I may have used this as an example but there is a flaw in it. After all this time and experience the developers have improved the development pipeline, alot of new knowledge has been assimilated, and similar results could probably be achieved in much less time just because the knowledge and experience already exists. But that's not an excuse to expect groundbreaking, sales record shattering, mind-blowingly innovative games to be coming out left and right. Not even every month. Not even every year. Yes, you just have to shut up and wait a few years for such leaps to happen.

Unreal isn't the only game

Ya it's not. And also I want to make clear that good quality games don't always have to be complex and visually elaborate. Hmm I'm having trouble though coming up with good examples. Actually fuck this paragraph, the only games that are actually this genius happen about once every five years. And because the industry simply doesn't strive on them, as much as we love and appreciate such efforts, we can't realistically even consider recieving such satisfaction on a regular basis.

Why I deserve to talk about this and why you should quit whining and listen (mini rant)

The reason is simple. I have programming experience. I have gaming experience. I am passionate about this subject to a degree that would drive me to write such a thing as this in my livejournal that almost no one reads anyway, so it's all for my own pleasure. And I am sure that I have read more coding and graphics books, development journals, and have looked at more game source code than you have. Shit, my dream is to work in this field. So if you're a fanboy that likes Mario, shut the fuck up...I'll give you a piece of mind in a little while. There is no right or wrong. You must remember that this is an industry that strives on profits that are gained by entertainment products that are developed by people who love what they do, but most of they have to live with compromises because they have their own lives and families to worry about.

Ok, ok, back to the topic. So are we screwed, is next gen gonna blow? Wtf! SAVE ME STEVE!!

Basically what all of this leads to is this. The next gen console war will not be decided by superior hardware. It will be decided by smart marketing moves, price tags, and development deals. Basically the console with the better software will be the winner. But if you are worried about who the winner is then I am disappointed in you, you are a disgrace to the gaming community and you are what is plaguing the consumer market. You should stop being a bias bitch and simply enjoy what you get. Ok so am I saying that you should like sucky games? No! But it's not the console's fault the game sucks, atleast not entirely.

Love thy consoles

I personally own an Xbox, a PS2, and a Dreamcast. Why? Because I have found games to love on all of these consoles and when I could finally afford any of them I purchased them. My favorite? The Xbox. Why? Because it's hardware is superior but from an age where that actually mattered. Significantly larger ram, a hard drive for caching and downloads, high def component output, digital 5.1 sound, and heck I actually love those huge controllers. Plus the Xbox has a huge library of awesome action packed mature games, whether they are mature with boobs, with blood, or with both. It also happens to be the home for two of the best console first person shooters of all time. Why do I own a PS2? Because I love Final Fantasy and other more obscure Japanese RPG's, sometimes I love down and dirty action games, but most of all I love stuff with flashy mechas like Zone of the Enders. The PS2 is my Japanese fix. The Dreamcast has several very innovative and unique games that I just consider classics and it only cost me twenty bucks when I finally bought it a year ago.

I love my consoles, but the previous generation of games was very limited by the hardware it ran on. Although I give props to Sony for it's world market dominance, it's PS2 architecture is simply weak and difficult to program on. Plus other than the few franchises that it has that are exclusive to it and are world renown, it's game library is plagued by thousands of clone games, most of which are Japanese. You honestly just can't argue the fact that if the franchises of Metal Gear, Grand Tourismo, and Grand Theft Auto were on the Xbox then Sony's market share would be destroyed. But the Japanese community loves Sony and hates the corporate giant that is Microsoft....who doesn't right?

I haven't talked about Nintendo and the Gamecube. Well promarily because it's console sales are dead last behind the PS2 and the Xbox. Sad? Yes it is. I love nintendo and it will always be in my heart. Mario, Samus, Link, Yoshi, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Star Fox, I love you guys. But I'm 21 and guess what, Master Chief pwns Mario...I'm sorry. The gamecube is barely surviving with it's exclusive third party titles like Resident Evil and whatever Squaresoft managed to make for them. The controller simply sucks, it's designed for children, it's limiting, playing Metroid with it made me want to chew my hands off and I am going to marry Samus one day, so I was very upset. I do give Nintendo props though for continuing to do what it does which is try new things and try to push the edge further with innovation, even if it fails on a mass scale. I honestly would rather see five year olds playing Smash Brothers instead of GTA, but that's a whole different topic which I won't even go in to for your sake.

Nearing the end, what's the conclusion to this mess?

Well lets see, It looks like Microsoft is taking a lesson from Sony and releasing a slightly inferior in terms of hardware console, a whole year before the competition. This will help it establish it's market share as the only next gen console for a whole year. The pro's of this? Well because the next generation will not be ruled by horsepower (maybe only 30% by horsepower) this is not as shitty of an idea as what Sony did with the PS2 and it's lame hardware. Another pro is that Microsoft may just end up dominating the market like Sony did with the PS2 simply due to good timing. Haha they are even going to release Halo3 the same day the PS3 hits storeshelves (for ~$500), ya what do you think parents are going to jump for?

With the PS3 Sony is simply going for overkill. I think they saw the potential in having 'superior' hardware and are willing to be on top even if it takes robbing your grandma of her whole retirement fund. This could have good results, but because I mentioned hardware being much less of a facter than the current generation, this could simply be a really bad idea.

Nintendo isn't revealing any specifics about it's Revolution console, they just seem to be very confident. I've seen Nintendo techs doing all sorts of nifty technologically innovative demo's and there is alot of speculation that some of it will make it in to the Revolution. Maybe we will be caught by surprise and Nintendo will win over the parket and put Sony and Microsoft's greediness to shame.

But in the end of it all, I know that I will be happy one way or another because I am extremely excited to see what all three dominant parties bring to the table. I am simply itching to get my hands on this new stuff and get to experience it all.

It's true that if there isn't a clear 'winner' that means that gamers are forced to purchase more that one console. And because we are all poor bastars, the flame war will never end simply because we can only afford one of them and we love to argue that what we paid hard earned money for is simply superior.

But competition is great. It is what pushes us to create better things. Without it, well I don't even want to think about it.

The End

Shit I can't believe I wrote all that. Why the fuck did I do it? Well I hope atleast someone enjoys it. I know my grammar and spelling is horrible by the way. But what I needed to count here was the idea, not the syntax.

Peace bithes!